Moonthly Letter VIII: On endings, beginnings, and the in-betweens
Lessons from one year on Substack + where we're headed
Hello fellow creative wanderer,
How are you? How is your heart? How is your soul?
It’s Sunday morning when I’m writing this. The sun is shining through the macrame curtain creating beautiful patterns on my desk. I’ve recently moved back into my little office studio that’s facing east. The winters in this tiny room are just too harsh as the walls of this old end of 1800 terraced house are paper thin.
Nevertheless, this room has become my little sanctuary in this house that no longer feels quite like home but the moving situation is a little precarious at the moment as there are things, practical things to consider. Like the rent prices which are extortionate here in the UK. Like my day job that I still attend 22 hours a week. And the overall stress of moving itself. It’s not just about changing locations for us. It’s about changing locations to feel more at home in this world with less external noise and more spaciousness. It’s about finding a place where we feel a little more grounded and a little less annoyed by all the sounds and smells that come with city living.
In the nine years we’ve been here, we have managed to fill the house with things that you tend to fill a house with. When we moved here, we moved from a studio flat in Brighton to a 3-bedroom terraced house on the outskirts of Leicester. We had the bare minimum back then and yet the terraced house has filled up.
In a way, I am so looking forward to the moving because it gives me a reason to purge. I’ve slowly started the process already but there’s still more I want to let go. I feel like the external purging will really help me align with the internal purging I’ve been doing ever since we moved here. I am so ready for it. I am so ready to align the two. A clean slate sounds so freaking good with all the internal stuff I’ve been processing in the last few months and years really. The inner spaciousness wants the outer spaciousness to match it.
This year has been a lot, internally. At the beginning of the year I truly committed to stepping out of my comfort zone which to me means showing up vulnerably in community spaces. And I’ve done that. I recently attended a 6-week breathwork circle which was beautiful and such an expansive experience. I’ve also connected with so many other magical beings and exchanged our gifts with each other which has been another incredible experience, both the receiving as well as the giving. What I’ve loved most is the vulnerability we’ve all showed up with each other. The deep soul-nourishing conversations have been so enriching.
I’ve also stepped on a brand new path recently, the one I knew I would walk at some point but it emerged sooner than I thought it would. I started my 400-hour breathwork facilitator training which, I am sure, will change the trajectory of my life. In a way, this is what I’ve been working towards for the last nine years without me knowing I was working towards it. I was simply responding to what life offered.
Funny how life works when you trust the timing of things, even if in the moment it is so uncomfortable. But this is the path I am choosing to walk and in these uncomfortable moments I choose to rest in trust. (Credit here goes to Kale Brock over on YouTube who I heard this phrase from. I’ve linked the video in this month’s Delight list.)
All these deep identity changes that are happening and have been happening mostly internally are finally starting to show up externally. I thank my progressed Sun for that. It’s been activating my Pluto and Saturn in the last nine years. I feel like these are some deep cell-level transformations that I haven’t truly acknowledged or appreciated about this journey. When you do this stuff on regular basis, it’s kinda hard to notice the changes but they’re there and we notice them when we pause and look back. And I love how the self-awareness modalities that I practice offer us an opportunity to reflect back on and to truly see and acknowledge the work we’ve been doing.
So, to you my dear fellow creative wanderer, I want to acknowledge your hard work even if no one else around you sees it yet, even if you have a hard time to see it in yourself.
Your gentle courage is celebrated here.
Your fierce desire to do life on your terms is appreciated here.
Your continuous willingness to cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness is witnessed here.
I also wanna touch upon the changes that I’ve implemented here on this Substack. It’s been just over a year now since I joined this beautiful community. I’ve learned quite a few lessons and I thought I’d share them with you in the hopes that maybe it’ll encourage you to start your own or feel less alone on the journey you are on.
Trust the process.
This has been a huge lesson. During the time I’ve been on here, I have experimented with so much. I used to do a Daily Wild thread where I drew a Tarot card each morning and did an impromptu poem on it. I used to do the New and Full Moon Invitations that have now evolved into The Descent. I’ve experimented with voice notes which have developed into the Sacred Work Podcast. I’ve tried out Notes which I’m still feeling into and, for now, have taken a small step back from.
Throughout it all, I’ve had to lean into trust - trust in my own journey on here and through life. And ultimately, it has led me to a place where I feel like I wanna hang out at for awhile.
Follow your delight.
That has been a mantra I’ve tried to embody for the last year or so. As someone who can easily fall into the trap of creating content to please others, that has been a journey. Leaning into the trust that when I follow my delight and share from that place, others will find something in there to relate to, to feel less alone with on their own path.
In a way, this relaunch has been about following my delight and organising this space so that I want to show up here. I feel good about the various compartments I’ve created which allow me to play within the various containers I love playing in, such as the self-awareness tools I practice with, my creative practices, as well as my deep passion for research and writing.
Cultivate connections with like-hearted beings.
This one has definitely been one of the most rewarding things about Substack and a lesson I learned pretty early on. It’s not just about me writing my stuff and throwing it out there for others to consume, but also showing up in spaces that I feel drawn to and engaging in conversations or simply leaving encouraging words when I see other magical beings doing their sacred work out in the world.
I’ve been able to connect with a few of you one-on-one and it has been magical. I find Substack is definitely not a numbers game to me. It is more about the quality of the connections I’m able to cultivate on here. I’m not interested in the superficial. I wanna dive deep with you. I wanna know what’s on your heart. I wanna know what troubles you. I wanna know what lights you up. And I’ve been able to do that so thank you for showing up like that here on my Substack but also on your own publication. And I definitely plan to deepen this even more so moving forward.
I spoke about where we’re headed in this letter. These Moonthly Letters are really updates: on life, on treading this path, on what’s coming up, on what’s been lighting me up. They’re really about connecting with you and sharing what’s happening in the backstage of my life.
And then some of the other content, mostly the paid content, will be more specific about my practices, my research, and the more vulnerable stuff on what I’m learning through astrology, Human Design and breathwork. So if you feel like you want to learn more about that side of my life, you can become a paid supporter, if you’re in a place where you can do that and this calls to you.
Or you can also pop over to my IG where I tend to share more impromptu meanderings on these topics. The Substack stuff will be a more refined version of these moment-to-moment ponderings, and more in-depth and more intimate with mini-lessons or reflections for you to take into your own lived experience.
There are also things I am dreaming into being as I’m stepping onto this breathwork facilitator training path but none of the seeds are really ready to be sown just yet. They will come though. The main idea is to combine breathwork with the various modalities I practice and really bring it to a place where it’s practical with a touch of magic.
Anyway, that’s all I have for you today. I’d love to know how you’re doing. What’s lighting up your world? What’s bugging you? What are you dreaming about?
June has been filled with lots of sun, torrential rain, meandering walks, quiet moments connecting with like-hearted beings, and some beautiful new music.
This video on “being boring” really spoke to me. I’ve often shamed myself on being boring and leading a fairly boring life. And yet, that is exactly how I like it. That is exactly what a slow creative life is about for me.
Jasmine on Chiron. The more I explore asteroids, the more I work with them in my own practice and the more I bring them to the readings I have been doing. There’s so much wisdom in them and Chiron is a pretty important one.
This song that I have not been able to stop listening to. I heard of him through Zane Lowe whilst interviewing Kelly Clarkson on her new album. That interview made the Delights list too.
This beautiful gold performance by Peggy Fleming I learned about through an astrology book I’ve been reading. Something so Neptunian about her movement. Pure magic!
This mind-bending mandala.
This new series from one of my astrology teachers.
This conversation on the magic of the margin.
This one on the poetics of interdependence. So good!
A few magical moments from June in the midst of daily living.
Beautiful words Silvia. Thank you for sharing