I trust the timing of things.
I trust the ending of things.
I trust the wisdom within.
I trust in the purity of intent emerging from my sacral.
There’s a photo of a little girl hidden in a box in a house somewhere. It’s a photo of a little girl wearing a flower wreath and drawing in her sketchbook during a midsummer family gathering back in the 90s. She is completely absorbed in the moment of creation. This girl is boldly claiming her creativity no matter what the setting or circumstance, no matter the noise around her. This girl is nourishing her Fire within, her life force, her creative passion and freedom.
Somewhere along the way, that little girl will stop embracing her creativity. Instead of fully committing, she starts to dabble. At times, she will dip her toe in the creative river but never for too long. She will start to believe all the stories everyone around her tells.
"What will you do with your creative degree? It won't pay the bills. Why don’t you learn something more practical?"
Eventually, she will stop swimming in the river of her creativity. She will dabble in other things. She will get a stable job and a degree that is more “useful”. But the creative bug keeps nagging at her. So she keeps dabbling and dipping her toes in it. If only to remind herself of her creative power. If only to secretly bathe in her creative waters.
Until there is nothing else left to do but to reclaim her Fire fully, completely, fearlessly.
Now here she is boldly reclaiming her creativity, fearlessly taking a deep dive into her creative river and bathing in her own creative power.
Even though this story is personal, there is no end to similar stories of fellow creative souls. I hear it about my partner and his parents. They claim he chose the wrong field to go into. I hear it from other creatives who never truly got the support they needed to make a living out of their passion.
And so it goes.
So many of us end up settling for something more practical, more stable, something that pays the bills but smothers our Fires. So we go through this life having only half-lived, having lived a life not truly ours, having walked a path that’s worn with all the other footsteps gone before us.
I say no more.
No more shall we listen to the neigh sayers.
No more shall we give into what others think we should do instead.
No more shall we hold back the fire within us that is wanting to burn so bright.
No more shall we smother our creativity.
Ever since my nodal return last January, I've been obsessively dreaming about a slow creative life. I've been percolating ideas that would make this dream into a tangible reality. And I'm so proud of myself because I am getting there, wherever the “there” is.
It won't be a full reclamation but a massive step towards it. A leap into reclaiming my creativity boldly. A full-on dip into the river of my creativity. The long and meandering river full of creativity in any shape and form it wants to come through me.
There’s another reclamation within it - reclaiming my charm and following it boldly. The 3rd Line within me wants to be delighted. She wants to spend time on whatever lights her up, like the fuse on the firecracker, she follows the sparks, her sacral as her compass. No more shaming myself into following one set trajectory. No more boxing myself into one category because that would be smothering my Inner Fire.
I’ve been pondering a lot on my Pathway of Challenge within my Gene Keys Activation Sequence. I’ve struggled to intellectually understand my Sphere of Evolution but within that, I’ve learned to slowly embrace it. My Sphere of Evolution is the Shadow of Constriction, the Gift of Acceptance and the Siddhi of Universal Love.
The Sphere of Life’s Work and Evolution creates a pathway, our Pathway of Challenge. With Seriousness as my Shadow of Life’s Work and Delight as my Gift, I’ve been listening to how these two show up in my life. Things started to make sense when I looked deeper into the lines, both 3rd Lines: Life’s Work as The Changer and Evolution as Energy and Experience.
Practically, this shows up how I interact with life. When I force things, when I resist change, when I have a hard time accepting what is, I fall into my shadows. My attitude changes. I take everything so seriously. I get reactive when I can’t get what I want, especially when I can’t get it at that given moment.
I’ve slowly noticed the softening around these hard edges. As Rudd says, acceptance comes in layers. Each experience of forcing things or resisting things has slowly allowed me to lean into what is and accept what is, and embrace change and uncertainty. In my moments of frustration and stuckness, I remind myself that this too shall pass.
Evolution happens when I accept what is. Evolution happens when I follow my charm and stop shaming myself about this chaotic way of going through life. My creativity can be all over the place but when I respond from my sacral, I know it’s genuine, I know it’s intentional, even if that creative surge only lasts for a few hours and leads to a dead end. It is all about the experience. And experiences provide us with the rich and fertile soil for our future projects. This rich and fertile soil holds the seeds that for the time being are called to lay dormant.
This energy to me reminds me of Aries. Aries is in my 8th House where my natal Moon resides. My Moon can be very reactive so my challenge over the years has been about compassionate self-leadership and finding ways to slow down which reminds me of The Emperor card in the Tarot.
Both The Emperor and Aries teach us courage, willpower and independence. Astrologically, it is Cardinal Fire energy which is a fast-moving forward motion. This energy allows us to see the possibility of what could be and alights the spark to boldly embody our wholeness. The Emperor and Aries lead us to the “uncharted wilderness of our heart” as Richard Rudd so beautifully states about Gene Keys 51, one of the Gene Keys that corresponds to Aries.
The Emperor in RWS Tarot Deck.
Aries at its highest potential is our creative independence, rooted in our trust in life itself, rooted in our trust in our individual magic that serves the collective.
There is a direct connection between my Aries Moon and my Leo Mars. They are both Fire Signs which means they create a direct aspect to each other. My Mars healing has been around my visibility. What underlines it all is this deep-rooted fear of being forgotten if I am not constantly visible. And since we’re talking about Leo energy here - Leo the Performer - I’ve always struggled with internal validation. Instead of self-validation and self-celebration, I have always sought it from outside of myself. I’ve relied on appreciation from others in order to feel worthy and creativity has been a huge part of that.
But something has shifted in the last month and what a beautiful synchronicity with it being a Leo season. I mentioned briefly elsewhere that when the Sun entered Leo, which is my 12th House of Solitude, I felt a strong desire to withdraw from creating publicly and just soak up the long summer days and create for my own satisfaction. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by my own creativity. I’ve been warmed by it as the Leo that is our Fixed Fire. I’ve gathered myself around the Leo fireplace and allowed it to warm up my soul.
My Mars and Venus are conjunct in Leo. I’ve always struggled to embody these two energies but the more I lean into my creativity, the more I’ve been able to feel into these energies, and the more I see how they both feed my creativity. I am becoming more fierce and unapologetic with my creativity. I am becoming more selective with what I find humpable. (A little fun reference to my teacher Britten and her Mars interpretation as humpability factor. By the way, she is currently promoting her year-long astrology container. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who feels called to walk with the planets in a more intuitive and embodied way. It was the best investment I made last year.)
When I add my Aries Moon to the mix, which creates a trine with my Venus and Mars, I keep pondering on how all these different energies can work together.
How can I make these energies work together? What does each part need? What can I feed them so they’re working in harmony and not clashing like the rams during mating season or spreading like wildfires causing havoc everywhere they spread? What does it mean to courageously embody one’s wholeness?
The 12th House is the House of Solitude. It is the behind-the-scenes bits of our lives. It is our inner state of being.
The 12th House for me represents my discomfort around the need to constantly be visible, to constantly share, otherwise, I’ll be forgotten. So often I lean on false intentions, forced intentions. The Leo side of me wants and craves the attention, the validation, the external celebration of my brilliance. In order to allow that in a healthy way, I’ve realised that I need to crave my own attention first, to validate my own creativity, and celebrate it.
The outlet for my Mars is my journal, my self-inquiry, my self-illumination, and my creative endeavours, whether they're shared publicly or not.
Where is your natal Mars? Is it talking to other planets? What sign and what house is it in? What’s the story around your Mars?
This Leo season has taught me that sharing is not the purpose. Creating is the purpose. Celebrating my own creations is the purpose. Funny, how my Shadow of Self-Obsession in my Sphere of Purpose seems to be slowly dissolving into simply creating. Sharing the creations is the natural next step once the wisdom from the time spent in solitude is fully integrated. Sharing is trusting that my individual magic is needed within the collective.
Sharing is my Sphere of Radiance and Purpose in my Gene Keys Activation Sequence, the 5th Line of Impact and Voice. But it has nothing to do with stroking my own ego. It’s bigger than that. It’s part of the interconnectedness of all life. It’s not about seeking external validation for my creations. Rather, it is about empowering you to reconnect with and reclaim your creative independence. It is about encouraging you to walk your own path, enter your uncharted wilderness and act on your ideas.
And so, here we are again, back at the Sphere of Life’s Work and Evolution. When these two gifts within me work together, I am able to follow my charm, and live in the moment, and bathe in the delight of what is. And the way I do that is by listening to my sacral responses, as a Generator. It is about listening to a full body yes which is a powerful yes that reverberates my whole body and fills my heart with love.
I’ve learnt that it’s also about listening to our no’s as they are as powerful as our yes’s.
I’m reminded of Lindsay Mack’s words here:
“We have to choose to live out our realization.”
Manifesting our dreams and desires happens through commitment. We have to be committed to our vision. And there’ll be times when we are asked to recommit. It is a constant act of intentionally recommitting. I see now the role my 12th House Leo, the Fixed Fire, plays in it all. My sacral has become my compass in knowing what to commit to. My Aries Moon will courageously dip into the creative waters and my Leo Mars will provide me with the fuel I need to follow through. But even so, the sacral check-in is a constant reminder of my energy capacity. That’s what following my personal delight means.
And it is so fun to see all these modalities feed into one another, allowing a deeper level of self-knowledge which feeds into our commitments to our desires. That’s what Sacred Work is all about - paving the path through our uncharted wilderness which demands unconditional self-trust in one’s magic, in one’s creativity.
My heart is being lit up by sacred geometry and creating detailed mandalas for the elements. My Aries, Leo and Virgo are absolutely loving it. My Inner Fire is burning brightly.
Here are some journal prompts for you to explore your Inner Fire:
What is the creative magic that lives in you?
What does showing up to your magic mean?
What does your magic need?
How can you cultivate trust in your magic?
(You don’t have to speak astrology in order to connect with your Fire but if you’re finding yourself struggling, the language of astrology can be so useful.)
Where are your Fire signs in your natal chart? (Fire signs are Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.)
What houses do they inhabit?
What planets are in your Fire signs?
What’s happening in your 5th House of Creativity? What sign is it? What planets are there?
What stories are these positions telling you?
Here are some words of empowerment that have helped me cultivate trust and belief in my own magic. May these words soothe the wounds you have around your own magical creativity.
Believe in your magic.
Trust in your magic.
Cultivate your magic.
Show up to your magic.
Nurture and nourish your magic.
Court your magic.
Play with it.
Talk to your magic.
Fuel your magic.
Show up to your magic.
P.S. Here’s a song about Fire from one of my favourite living musicians. His humility, his passion, his creative magic light up this world. May it inspire you to lean into your own creative magic and boldly reclaim it.
P.P.S. What’s lighting up your creativity right now? What are you working on that is warming your soul?