Everything that we need is already inside of us.
I wrote this in my journal last Monday morning without realising that it was an initiation into self-healing my wound of visibility. The wisdom that we seek, and the answers that we are after are so often already within us. We need to step into the darkness of our bodies instead of relying on external knowledge.
But more often than not we abandon our inner wisdom. We rely on someone else’s knowledge instead, whether that is getting a piece of paper that tells us we’re now officially qualified, or Googling what a Tarot card means. And this is in no way undermining certain qualifications or other people’s knowledge but rather, this is emphasising the disconnection that a lot of us feel from our own knowing, from the knowledge we gather through our lived experiences, through our personal gnosis, as my teacher Britten calls it.
Because all of that too is valid.
As I was preparing the counter at work at the start of Monday, I could not help but go with the energetic surge I was feeling within me. Words about wounds and wisdom and healing kept pouring out of me.
What is my wound?
What is the wisdom it holds?
How does it allow me to show up in the world through service?
As I allowed these queries to work through my body, daily Tarot kept coming up. A deep sacral “yes” emerged.
What if the daily Tarot is an initiation into our Sacred Work?
Three of Swords in RWS Tarot Deck.
Our wounds are reminders of our strength, our resilience.
Our wounds are the healers for others.
Our blood is our wisdom.
What pours out from the open wounds is our wisdom.
The scars are reminders of how we walked through the pain, the suffering.
We’re stronger for it.
We’re wiser for it.
On that morning, I had pulled the Three of Swords. I knew that it was an initiation into being with the heart, being with one’s wounds, being with one’s emotions and desires, and being with what is. The seed of the daily card was in it. An invitation to self-heal the wound of visibility and self-trust through creative expression.
It was an invitation to being boldly visible and showing up in all one’s vulnerability. I knew that I wasn’t going to do it for external validation. I knew that if I was going to commit to these daily cards, I was doing it to build up my own trust in my Tarot practice, nurture the wild Self and connect with the wisdom that is already in my body.
Tarot is a practice of cultivating trust in one’s bodily knowing. As the connection is restored, so is our sense of worthiness regardless of external validation.
Trusting this journey has been a real rollercoaster. Old wounds of doubt and unworthiness and external validation resurface daily. I have even considered just posting the daily cards without sending an email to you. After all, I am doing this for myself, so why spread it?
There’s a lot of discomfort around the idea of bothering people, spamming people, and clogging up people’s inboxes. The more I’ve sat with it, the more I’ve realised that this is my way of hiding, running from the discomfort of being visible, allowing my unworthiness to control me. This has been my default.
Staying small is easy. Staying small requires no expansion on our part. We don’t have to stretch our comfort zone. We can simply remain in our cosy cocoon.
But at what cost?
I decided against not sending an email. Not because I want you to see me but because I want to heal the wounded part of me who feels like being seen needs to equate to external validation. I’m being called to create and then let these creations simply live out there, without the need to place my worthiness on the responses I get. Because once I let them fly out there, it is no longer about me. And I trust your judgement in your knowing when these daily emails get too much.
Astrologically speaking, this wounding around visibility is my Chiron placement in my 10th House of the public self. Little did I know that on that Monday, the asteroid Pallas was transiting right over my natal Chiron.
Chiron is the Wounded Healer. It is the part of ourselves that integrates our mind and body, our intuition and instinct.1 According to Howard Sasportas, our natal Chiron placement is “an area of life in which we might be sensitive to rejection.”2 It may show us where “being in the body creates a problem.”3 It is an area of our life where we have been wounded. It is through that wounding that we gain self-knowledge. Ultimately, it is the self-knowledge that we’ve gathered through our wounding that helps us serve the collective.
Pallas Athene is the Goddess of Wisdom. According to Demetra George, she represents our “capacity for creative wisdom and original perceptions.”4 She is also associated with the element of Air and the Suit of Swords. According to George and Bloch, mythologically Pallas was “made to deny her femininity in order to exercise her wisdom, courage and creative abilities.”5 Her creative intelligence expressed itself through the arts, healing and political activism.6
My natal Pallas is in my 5th House of Capricorn. 5th House is the House of Creativity. It indicates how we express ourselves creatively. It’s our Fire energy, Fixed Fire of Leo, to be more precise. It is the ever-glowing ember that burns within us.
Capricorn, according to Steven Forrest, is the symbol of integrity, “the marriage of one’s nature and one’s public identity.”7 Since Capricorn is rooted in integrity, the purpose of public identity is not to seek external validation. Rather, this is simply Capricorn’s nature. As Steven Forrest writes, Capricorn “must never play to the crowd, although their work, being public, must invariably be executed before a crowd.”8
This implies that it is not the external approval and praise that is the end goal, but rather, it is the act of cultivating approval from within, becoming at peace with oneself and trusting that the inner wisdom needs to eventually live out there, regardless whether it is praised or judged.
This, personally, is beautifully linked with my 12th House Leo. As I’ve mentioned before, the 12th House is the healing space for one’s inner peace. It is the need to withdraw from the world and find one’s inner well of wisdom. And when the time is right, to share it boldly. Only then can the Capricorn emerge in one’s integrity.
This is ultimately what Daily Wild is about.
It is a space that invites the self-healing of one’s visibility wounds. It is a space where to cultivate unconditional self-trust with one’s body and in one’s personal gnosis through the wisdom of the Tarot that lives within each of us. It is a gentle nudge to self-heal through creative expression and embrace one’s inner wildness and wilderness.
Ultimately, it is the opening of the portal to my Gene Keys Activation that has allowed me to fully embrace it, lean into my wound of visibility and nurture the Silvia who once felt rejected and abandoned and sought validation through external sources back to her inner power, her inner strength, her inner approval.
Thank you, Daisy, for this beautiful opening.
By taking responsibility for our Shadows and accepting them as part of our being, we invite in teachers and guides who help us enter into the darkness of our inner wells and shed light on our wounds. It is the opening into acceptance that will slowly shift our uncomfortableness with being in our physical bodies in public spaces and feeling safe regardless of our wounds.
I noticed that slow shift happening during our last week’s meetup.
I almost allowed my need for safety to not show up. I almost fell back into my default setting of hiding. Showing up and speaking out felt uncomfortable, especially with the Inner Winter approaching. But when it was my turn to share, I felt this ease in my body that I’ve not felt in public spaces before. I felt safe to show up as my self. I felt safe to ramble and lose my train of thought. I felt safe using my laughter as a way of expressing my life force. And when my sharing was over, I allowed the words to just be out there without needing the external validation or confirmation of what was shared.
This kind of sharing is a beautiful teacher of self-trust and self-validation. When we show up despite the discomfort; when we voice ourselves despite the fears of judgement and rejection - that’s us trusting in our wildness and expanding our inner wilderness beyond our bodies.
The wonderful nature of astrology is the activation of these sensitive points in our chart. I see them too as portals of self-healing and self-empowerment. They’re invitations to go within, to dive into the well of our inner wisdom, to gather that wisdom into the bucket and then bring it into the world. I am reminded of Ram Dass and how he said that we’re all just walking each other home.
Time and time again, I am reminded of the interconnectedness of everything. These modalities give us the magical language to express it all. The past Monday and the meetup on Thursday were but further confirmations of the beauty and wonder of the universe. And we are all part of it. How cool is that?
This is your gentle invitation to explore your Wounded Healer, aka your natal Chiron, but only if you feel ready and in your capacity to do so.
Which house is it in?
What sign is that house?
What emerges when you connect the house and the sign with Chiron?
What wisdom does your well hold?
Wherever your Chiron is, that’s your well of wisdom. That is your invitation to your self-healing, and through that inner work, you’re being equipped with the knowledge to invite others to their journey of self-healing. Just remember, you don’t have to do it alone.
Sending you lots of love, dear wanderer.
Silvia
P.S. This song, the beat, the lyrics, the magical voice, the mesmerising video - pure Ecstasy.
P.P.S. Today’s Daily Wild contemplation is here.
D Bloch, D George Astrology for Yourself Ibis Press, Maine, 2006, p. 108
Bloch, Geroge, p. 108
Bloch, George, p. 109
Bloch, George, p. 105
H Sasportas Twelve Houses Flare Publications, London, p. 265
Sasportas, p. 265
Steven Forrest The Inner Sky Seven Paws Press, Borrego Springs, CA, 2012, p. 94
Forrest, p. 94